A Girl, Her Two Suitors And Her Father

 

By: Leila

Charlene grudgingly walked into the therapist's office. She didn't want to be there. She rolled her brown eyes at the therapist immediately they locked eyes.

Ms. Calhoun: "Hi Charlene. Welcome and please take a seat." 

Miss Calhoun is bespectacled. Her brunette curly hair rests comfortably on her shoulders. She has been a therapist for 15 years so she is well aware of Charlene's situation.

Charlene: "Hi Ms...?"

Ms. Calhoun: "Ms. Calhoun."

Charlene: "I really don't want to be here. My best friend insisted that I should because of my boyfriend dilemma and you're billing her."

Ms. Calhoun: "You're already doing well. Proceed..."

Charlene took off her black and pink sneakers and laid on the cushy velvet cream yellow recliner sofa while facing up. Miss Calhoun's office was undoubtedly beautifully comfortable. The dusty blue walls created a sense of calm and relaxation. 

There was a big white sign written 'RELAX AND TALK' next to the window where the recliner chair was facing. This was enough to get Charlene in the mood to open up.

On the other side of the office was a book cabinet. Miss Calhoun was clearly a reader. The cabinet had a space for her desktop computer which was off.

Once Charlene was relaxed, the session begun..

Charlene narrated how she met her two boyfriends. Amidst the flashbacks, her facial expressions were filled with genuine smiles and sometimes pain and regret.

An hour later, she was was done.

Charlene: "That's it Doc."

Ms. Calhoun: "So you met them on a bench but different locations?"

Charlene: "Yes Doc."

Ms. Calhoun: "Clearly you were very attached to both and they had different impacts on you. Ian made you light up while Darius made you feel regretful but you still went back."

Charlene: "Damn! Was it that evident?"

Ms. Calhoun: "Yes. Now, tell me about your father."

Charlene: "He is in the past and I have healed."

Ms. Calhoun: " 'Past' and 'Healed' in the same sentence? What about him have you buried and healed?"

Charlene: "I don't want to talk about him."

Ms. Calhoun: "Now you 'don't want to talk about him'. Hmm... Why?"

Charlene: "Why is that important?"

Ms. Calhoun: "In order to solve your dilemma, you need to understand the foundation of your first male relationship and that's with your father. How was it?"

Charlene: "Well... Oftentimes, he was absent. Whenever he got a new job, he would disappear for 6 months and show up once then disappear again."

Ms. Calhoun: "Basically, he wasn't a present figure when he had money?"

Charlene: "Yes. When things got bad like losing his job or an injury, that's when he was present. We barely ate 3 meals, walked to and from school which was across counties and between a forest."

Ms. Calhoun: "You mentioned that he had an injury. ..."

Charlene: "Yes, he went to a stadium to watch football by himself. A stampede started and he broke his leg. He was admitted and for 9 months, we were his caregivers. Step mom would bathe him, dress him and help him to the wash room. After school, I would massage his leg."

Ms. Calhoun: "How old were you?"

Charlene: "11."

Ms. Calhoun: "You were very compassionate but too young to be overwhelmed. I suppose you were tired from school and also had assignments?..."

Charlene: "Yes and help out with chores."

Ms. Calhoun: "After recovery, what happened to him?"

Charlene: "He got a job elsewhere and disappeared as usual."

Ms. Calhoun: "How did that make you feel?"

Charlene: "Betrayed, used, neglected, unappreciated. I lost all respect for him. The following year, step mom became a monster. She mistreated my siblings and I. She beat us, insulted us, starved us, blamed me for her marital woes and over worked us with chores. She woke us up by chaotically opening our bedroom door and pinching us. That's why I still have anxiety attacks when I hear doors banged. All this time my father was spending money on his young lass.

HE LEFT US DOC!!! HE FORGOT ABOUT US! WE TOOK CARE OF HIM WHEN HE COULDN'T WALK AND STILL VALUED HIM WHEN HE HAD NO MONEY!!!" (Charlene shouted as she got up and walked across the room, raving and panting, rage flaring up in her eyes and banged Ms. Calhoun's desk near the window. She then regressed into a fetal position.)

 "That's why I will never date a man who lacks financial stability. No money, no romance!!"

Ms. Calhoun: "Is that why you keep going back to Darius? The one you met on a bench at The Four Seasons and lives in a mansion. He's disrespectful, unapologetically neglects your needs, no call backs and ungrateful... Just like your father."

Charlene: "STOP!! PLEASE STOP DOC!!! Why are you being so truthful? It hurts!!!" (She curled up in the corner beside the desk and cried helplessly.)

Ms. Calhoun: "Seems like you are trying to fix your father's image in your subconscious. You still love him and hope that with money, his behavior can be repaired. You go back but you regret later."

Charlene: "The sex is great too."

Ms. Calhoun: "Okay, what else about him?"

Charlene: "Honestly, I never liked him. You are right, I am fixing my father in him."

Ms. Calhoun: "How about Ian? You met him on a bench at the park. He works in the army and would drive for an hour just to come see you. You say he is courteous, respectful and appreciates you."

Charlene: "Oh Ian.. The only boyfriend I ever thought about marrying." (Her face lights up, voice changes to happy tone, dries her tears, gets up and walks towards the recliner sofa. She smiles when she talks about him.) "He is a gentleman. If he walked in right now, I would propose to him in a jiffy. He's consistent and makes me feel safe. I don't have to try too hard to be with him. It's just easy and peaceful."

Ms. Calhoun: "Keep talking..."

Charlene: "His smile lights up my world and excites my heart."

Ms. Calhoun: "Seems like you have the answer to your dilemma. Darius represents your past and everything you are healing from. Meeting him meant facing your trauma and deciding if you want a recurrent or something new. Ian represents your healed self and what your inner child missed. The security he offers is everything your soul always wanted. That's why you light up when you speak about him."

Charlene: "Now I know who I want. Thanks alot Doc. My best friend was right... You are the best therapist."

Ms Calhoun: "Happy to help. Trust yourself."

Charlene smiled and reached out for a gratitude handshake. She looked lighter than she did when she walked in. Her dilemma was solved.