Sunday, 3 October 2021

My Mom Is My Boyfriend's Sugar Mummy.

 Had an argument with my boyfriend and he blocked me. Then I found out that my mom is his sugar mummy.

What should I do? 😭😭



Our response:

If you can get out of that place and go to a relative or friend or just move out... Do it. Your mind and heart need some time out or else you might end up doing something you will regret for the rest of your life.



The Secret Space is a safe space for anyone who would like to share their story or dilemma anonymously.

Feel free to email your story or dilemma to letstalkblog2015@gmail.com

We will respond.


Next issue:

I graduated 3 years ago and haven't gotten a job.

Honestly, I'm depressed. 

Please help! 😩



Wednesday, 22 September 2021

Book Review: How To Thrive In The Virtual Classroom by Megan Gallagher

 


How To Thrive In The Virtual Classroom by Megan Gallagher is the best mental health care interactive workbook I've read so far. πŸ€—

Megan Gallagher explores the day to day worries, anxieties and thoughts of teenagers and young adults.

She delves into how COVID-19 shifted daily routines and activities and how that shift led to the rise of anxiety levels in students.

As an interactive workbook, there are sections where the reader writes down how they feel, what frustrates them and how to improve their thoughts.




Another important subject it focuses on is the importance of mindfulness. Honestly, this is my favorite! 🀩

Megan also shares her experience when she was a teenager and how verbal bullying deeply affected her self-perception. This part was totally relatable because I experienced it too but with time (which took a couple of years into adulthood) I healed and got over it. 

Verbal bullying is very common among teenagers and many of them carry the words throughout their lives.

This book shares tips on how to choose the right thoughts when in such a situation.

Additionally, from page to page, the colors are captivating, the graphics blend with the content and illustrations are eye-catching to its target audience!



The 10 chapters are clear and precise. They address the importance of self care, mental and emotional health care.

If you are a teenager or young adult or have any in your family, this book is a must-have for them. It will help them navigate this stage gracefully and come out emotionally mature and well-equipped to handle adulthood.

This amazing book is available now on Amazon in paperback and kindle formats.

Amazon link:

How To Thrive In The Virtual Classroom: An Interactive Workbook For Teenagers And Young Adults

Get it, read it and feel the transformation. It is worth your time πŸ’―!


Author's bio:



Megan Gallagher is an Actress, Voice Over Artist, Public Speaker, Red Carpet TV Host & Commercial/Fitness Model 

For more information regarding Megan's book and public speeches, check out her website: www.meganwgallagher.com


       
  
: @meganwgallagher   



: @meganwgallagher


 : @megangallagher43 




: @meganwgallagher  



   : @megangallg2369


#bookreview #sponsoredad #mentalhealth #selfcare

Friday, 27 August 2021

5 Simple Home and School Self Care Tips


By: Leila 




 We live in a fast paced world.

From the moment adults or school going kids wake up to the moment they all go to bed, they're always on the go. There is barely any time to slow down and enjoy a meal.

I am now learning as an adult the importance of slowing down and self care.

I've always been on the move and recently, I discovered that it doesn't allow me to process my emotions, listen to them and take charge of them. Hence, it's easy to snap and assume control of things instead of moving at the pace of things.

I've started setting aside time for me to take a look around and observe my environment, organize my thoughts and feelings and postpone what I can't complete today to the following day.

The need for mental health care has never been as high in the years before as it is now. This need covers all demographics regardless of socio-economic background.

Research shows that lack of proper self care, rest and mental health care leads to stress which is the reason for the increasing cases of depression and anxiety.

A recent study shows that more therapists and counselors have been hired since the early 2000s until now in schools, corporates, personal level, family level, prisons, judiciary level and government workplaces.

There is a great need to empower people with the importance of self care and rest from the school and home level.

Here are simple and easy to implement self care tips that can be taught at home and at school:


Meditation

Training kids to sit in silence then write down their thoughts will raise adults who are more self aware emotionally and mentally.

When at home, set aside 10-20 minutes on Sunday mornings for you and your family to meditate. 

In school, set aside the same amount of time before a lesson begins. This silence will calm students and probably reduce cases of bullying and irate student acts.

Train kids that... A calm mind is a rational mind.

Napping

A 20 minute to an hour nap can change an indecisive mind to a decisive one. It can calm a restless soul.

When setting aside self care time for kids at home, add napping as an option. Switch off phones or tv and use this time to relax the mind and soul.

When they learn to understand the importance of a nap, it will aid them in appreciating Me-time in adulthood as well as taking a mental and emotional pause.

Journaling

Writing down thoughts, experiences and feelings is helpful and carthatic.

When kids get to puberty, they experience heightened emotions and they can be erratic which leads them to making irrational decisions.

As an adult, being impulsive can ruin relationships and hurt oneself and others.

Learning to journal helps with keeping your emotions and thoughts in check. Hence leading to more calm and rational adults.

Moreover, it improves communication especially when expressing emotions.

Gratitude Jar

At the beginning of every year, give kids an empty jar and tell them to fill it with notes of good things that happened to them every month. 

Tell them to read the notes when they're having a bad day or feeling low. It will elevate their mood and improve their mental health.

This will cultivate a positive and grateful attitude towards life as they become adults.

Additionally, during dinner time, you can ask everyone to say what they're grateful for. This will create an understanding and positive attitude towards each other.

Art time

Set aside 1-2 hour during the weekend at home or at school during the weekday when kids take time to do what they're passionate about. This will allow them to tap into their talents and allow them to express themselves.

Doing what you're passionate about helps reduce anxiety and depression because it triggers the dopamine levels in the brain that are responsible for good moods.


Parting shot:

A good self care routine leads to mentally and emotionally healthy adults. 

Self care should not be learnt in adulthood because by then, unlearning certain behaviors may be difficult.

Let's teach kids that self care and rest are not signs of laziness but good for their holistic development. 


#selfcare #mentalhealth #wellness #wellbeing #parenting #schooling


Wednesday, 21 July 2021

This Is Why Menstrual Products Should Be Free

By: Leila 






Since time immemorial, it has always been a wonder as to why feminine sanitary products are commercially distributed while condoms are offered free of charge in public institutions and washrooms. 

One of the greatest breakthrough was Scotland when it officially announced in 2018 that sanitary pads will be distributed for free nationwide. England and Wales have followed suit and implemented the same.

In the United States, some states offer free period products while others are yet to pass the legislation as cited by USA Today.com :

"California and Illinois became the first states to give public school students access to free menstrual products in early 2018, followed by New York later that year and New Hampshire in 2019. Georgia decided by budget, not legislation, that it will also provide pads and tampons at no cost in low-income schools starting the 2020 fiscal year."

No girl or gender-neutral individual wakes up and decides to menstrute their entire life. It is purely natural and non-negotiable and month after month she has to deal with the accidental leaks, purchasing new panties or clothes while discarding the damaged ones, cramps, mood swings, loss of appetite, cravings, bloating, lethargy, acne, back- aches, headaches, nausea, fluctuating body temperatures and to make it worse... buy medication and sanitary products to cater for this phase.

There are alot of repercussions of commercializing menstrual products. The only solution to alleviating the problems related to period poverty is to distribute them for free and this is why:

Financially costly

This is what every lady/gender-neutral person must get every month during her menstruation:

1. Sanitary pads, tampons, menstrual cups, reusable pads

2. Panty liners

3. Painkillers, anti-acids for stomach-aches, hot water bottle for cramps

4. Pay for certain food cravings while avoiding others

5. New panties and clothes incase of accidental leaks

Statistically, every household with women spends up to $100 to $300 every year just to cater for the monthly natural occurrence.

Pads and tampons need to be changed within 2-4 hours to avoid leaks, infections and susceptibility to Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS). Leaks cause shame and can lead to a lifetime of personality trauma while infections and TSS adversely affect a woman's health for the rest of her life.

All this is at the expense of girls and women regardless of their socio-economic statuses all the while being taxed just for menstruating.

According to Blume.com

"If we don’t have to pay for toilet paper and paper towels in public washrooms, then we shouldn’t have to pay for menstrual products either. Offering free and accessible period products can help people who menstruate save upwards of $5,000 in their lifetimes, reduces stress on women’s shelters, and reduces waste — especially if the products provided are eco-friendly!"

Derails womxns' economic and professional growth

"Every month, I miss 2 days of work just so that I could stay at home, take medication and deal with my heavy flow." ~ Doreen

Doreen's story is representative of many other women who have to stay home during menstruation.

A population of women have to stay home because they are unable to choose between purchasing period products or food yet they're all basic needs.

For the 4-6 days of every month, they use old pieces of clothing, cotton wool or in some cultures they are secluded in a hut or room and told to squat the whole time.

This means 48 -72 days a year, a country's economy loses money because the working women are at home. Therefore, men are more likely to be promoted and get more jobs whereas women's professional contributions are not significantly valued hence they're not adequately compensated.

With free period products in workplaces and anywhere accessible, women will be able to show up to work and with both men and women growing professionally, this will push the gender equality agenda and the economy will grow exponentially.

"Free menstrual products = Women Empowerment"

Adversely affects the girl child's education

"When I was 11, every month I had to stay home during my menstruation because my parents couldn't afford sanitary pads and cramping medication. We had to choose food over pads." ~ Sheena

3 out of 10 girls miss school during their period. This has resulted in a significant rise of girls dropping out of school and a drop in girls' school performance.

Commercializing menstrual products puts many girls all over the world like Sheena out of school hence holding them back while expecting them to perform well and compete with boys who are always in school.

Free products will enhance period equity ensuring girls from all socio-economic backgrounds continue with their educaction without a single worry.

Kenya and South Africa have made significant progress in this area as cited by Borgen Magazine

"In 2019, South Africa instituted a policy that abolished taxes on feminine hygiene products, such as pads and tampons. Global Citizen is also lobbying the South African government to pledge $58 million annually to provide free sanitary pads for all girls in the 4th through 12th grades in public schools.

In Kenya in 2017, an amendment to the Education Act, signed by President Uhuru Kenyatta, specifies that free, appropriate and high-quality sanitary towels must be given to every school-registered girl. Furthermore, schools must supply girls with a healthy and environmentally friendly disposal mechanism."

Menstruation isn't a choice

Whether you're a girl or gender-neutral, menstruation did not come to you by choice. It's all biological.

Whereas sexual intercourse is completely a choice.

So why offer free condoms while commercializing, taxing and profiting off a completely non-negotiable natural occurrence? 

Regardless of education, professional, financial status and geographical location, periods just pop in every month and sometimes without a warning.

And because nobody decided to menstruate, period products should be free and accessible anywhere and anytime.

Accidental leaks

This is a scenario almost every girl/gender-neutral person has experienced.

"My period started on my way to work. I had to make a stop at a mall restroom and send one of the staff to the supermarket to get me a pad and an extra panty. I also had to get medicine for my cramps too. I sat on the toilet for 20 minutes as I waited, " says Dana.

The sudden menstruation was very costly to Dana in terms of:

Money:

 She had to abruptly adjust her budget

Time:

She had to wait for 20 minutes to get the period products and was late to work.

If the period products were easily available in the restroom or anywhere on her way to the mall, she would have saved alot on time and money.

Studies indicate that 3 out 10 girls miss school and work in case of an accidental leak. 

The leaks come with period shame because of the stain and this negatively affects how she perceives her biological nature. 

Cultural perception of periods

In some cultures, menstruation is perceived as a taboo. A menstruating girl or woman is rendered dirty and is secluded from her family, husband, schoolmates and peers until it's over. 

This is likely to lower her self- esteem and increase self-loathing when she approaches puberty.

She has to experience it 12 times a year.

With free menstrual products especially in schools, she will be able to stay in school without worrying about the cultural period shame.

Moreover, it will create awareness around menstruation and positively change the cultural perception of it.

 

#womenshealth #womenempowerment 

Tuesday, 13 July 2021

7 Wellness Tips For Boss Babes

By: Leila



 This is how you know you are a boss babe..

 You wake up early, do your meditation, prepare yourself and your family for the day and get started on impacting the world with your feminine power. You know what that is?

It is called QUEENING!!!

While you are up and down advancing your life and making the world a better place, how much time do you take to care for your mind, body and soul?

Here are some important boss babe tips to help you through your mental health care:


1. Sitting still in silence

Personally, this has always got me geared up for the day.

When in this state, the mind settles and organizes your thoughts, the soul calms itself and your heart speaks to you through intuition.

If you were uncertain about something for instance, a business deal, opportunity or anything work-related or in an uncomfortable emotional state such as an argument with a friend, spouse or family member, the stillness will settle you and help you make a decision.


2. Journaling

Writing down how I feel is part of my weekly mental and emotional health care check-up.

It has proven to help me keep track of my emotions and it relieves me off mental pressure.

Journaling can be done daily or weekly depending on your schedule.

When you write down your thoughts and feelings, you relieve yourself of any tension that may throw you off-balance and prevent you from performing at your best.


3. Sleep

Taking that random 20 minute nap or 1-2 hour sleep is very helpful in reducing stress and organizing your thoughts, ideas, dilemmas and emotions.

Sleep is as important to your normal functioning as food and shelter.

According to National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke

Study subject was Brain Basics: Understanding Sleep

"...Recent findings suggest that sleep plays a housekeeping role that removes toxins in your brain that build up while you are awake."

When you sleep, negative feelings are obliterated thus elevating your moods and improved moods allow you to relate better with people. 

Once toxins are removed from the brain, your creativity and performance levels increase thus raising your productivity.

In addition, sleep improves your physical health. When you are asleep, the body activates your nervous system and repairs worn out tissues thus strengthening your immune system.

Contrary to the negative perception of sleep created by society, it actually works in your favor.

So boss babe, switch off that phone, iPad, tv or laptop and jump into the sack for a nice relaxing sleep. It is good for your general health.


4. Talk to a confidant

As a boss babe, you are naturally a problem solver. You are used to handling and overcoming obstacles by yourself and so far you have done well! Look at you, you are winning!!

But every queen needs a confidant especially with matters involving the heart and emotions.

Personally, I am just learning how to open up and talk about my problems as I go through them and not after I have gone through them. 

It has proven to be very helpful in solving business and personal disputes.

Seeking counsel is not a sign of weakness but a sign of self-respect and emotional intelligence.

So it is okay to ask for help, boss babe. It does not take away your power. It replenishes it.


5. Affirmations

Speaking power into yourself translates to speaking well of yourself and increases a positive attitude towards others and situations in life.

Whatever you speak about, you bring about. You manifest your affirmations.

Affirming yourself every morning before you begin your routine enables you to perceive your day positively and face it with confidence.

Affirmations also elevate your mindset and calm your spirit. Affirmations alter any negative self-perception.

Moreover, they also improve your mood hence improving your relationships and people love to work and hang out where there are positive vibes.


6. Exercise

Physical exercise not only keeps you fit and gets your sexy back but also strengthens your heart's muscles, elevates your mood and refreshes your mind.

Exercise fosters growth of your brain cells and aids in memory and creativity.

According to Cleveland Clinic

Study subject: Healthy Brains

"Strength training isn’t just for body builders. Lifting weights or using a resistance band not only builds muscle and strengthens bone; it can boost brain power, improve mood, enhance concentration and increase decision-making skills."

Additionally, "Exercise improves blood flow and memory; it stimulates chemical changes in the brain that enhance learning, mood and thinking."

If you are tense about something, working out or taking a stroll will calm your nerves and allow your brain to come up with a solution.

So boss babe, get on that workout routine and keep at it. It makes you a better human.


7. Gratitude

 



That quote is true to the letter.

Being thankful for what you have enhances a positive attitude towards life. 

Gratitude also benefits your mental health in a way that activates good memories, positive perception of problems and problem-solving abilities. 

It also enhances positive emotions which in turn improve business and interpersonal communication.

Gratitude is a magnet for relationships. People like to be appreciated and they do more when they feel appreciated.

When you also thank yourself, you do more for yourself which means your personal growth and life goals will sky rocket.

Take some time to write down what you are grateful for. Even in the bad situations, look at the good that came out. Did you learn something that has been beneficial to your journey moving forward?

I have learnt to be grateful throughout my journey and I no longer complain or look back in regret or pain.

Be thankful. It is good for your life in general.

#wellness #wellbeing #womenempowerment #bossbabes #selfcare #mentalhealth


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