Girl, Miss Independent Issa SCAM!

                                      Photo courtesy.

Ne-yo's song 'Miss Independent' was my favorite tune. The guy is so talented, he can convince you to use shoe polish as butter on bread.
A friend used to call me Miss Independent and I absorbed the title. Probably it was the attitude I portrayed: The "Why do I need a man? I got this by myself. Actually... Why do men exist anyway?"

Life was good until I met him. He introduced me to a new world. A world I never knew my entire life. He challenged my doctrines and of course it made me uncomfortable. His name was Paul.

Paul invited me for lunch one Saturday afternoon at his office which was a walking distance. So my 'Miss Independent' self decided to walk under the hot sun in the heels he bought me. By the time I arrived, I was all sweaty with sore feet and dusty heels.

His handsome self just smiled and said, "Baby, you should have just told me to call you a cab."
I was embarrassed because I expected a hug and a "Wow! You did it by yourself and didn't ask me for help."
That shocked me because Ne-yo said, "Something ooh so sexy about
Kinda woman that don't even need my help
She said she got it, she got it..."
Well Ne-yo.... that didn't fascinate my date. He actually wanted to ensure that I am comfortable and safe.

So you need to change your lyrics to:
"Something ooh so sexy about
Kinda woman that really needs my help
She said you got it, you got it.."
Let's get back to my date shall we?

So this handsome man, told me to make myself comfortable, he served me lunch and dessert just to my specifications. He cleared the table then proceeded to engage me in a humorous mind-stimulating conversation.

We conversed for 6 hours after which he dropped me home. That was the best date I've ever had. I had never felt so safe and taken care of by a man. I know what you're thinking so I'll answer before your brilliant mind asks... No, he didn't ask for sex in exchange. He was just a gentleman.

See.... 21st Century women are the fruits of The 1999 Beijing Conference on Women Empowerment. Women have made exceptional strides in personal and economic development but the mistake they made was to pit women against men with doctrines like.."What a man can do, women can do better." My question is...Why should women engage in a supremacy battle with men on who is more masculine in the name of Empowerment? Women can be powerful and successful by embracing their femininity without trying to be like men.

Then there is the other lie and this time they used the word 'LOVE' to bait women because they know women will do anything for LOVE: 'Men LOVE women who don't ask them for favours and money'. This is crap! Men want women who need them. They were created to solve problems so doing things for us makes them who they are.

I know of many women who have never had a man buy them a drink at the club and they developed the mentality that they intimidate men. Reason: 'I'm too strong for him.' Another lie! No man is intimidated by a woman. He will withdraw if you make him feel useless.

The truth is... Men don't care about how much money you have at the bank nor your career title; they just love taking care of women. That's how they were wired. There is a group of women who have a habit of rubbing it in men's faces that, "I have my own money and I can pay. I own this and that. I drive this car and I am Independent." Honey... that's why you'll keep buying your own drinks and paying your own cab fare.

 Men don't like to be in a place they are not needed.

Out of frustration, such women will take it to social media and post status updates like:
"Men are stingy and irresponsible."
"Men are afraid of strong independent women."
"I don't need a man to take care of me. I can do it by myself."

So girl... If he offers to buy you a drink... Allow him. If he offers to pay your cab fare, drop you home, buy you a meal, take you out of town, buy you flowers, open a door, pull your chair before you sit, carry your luggage or pay a bill... LET HIM. Just allow the man to take care of you. 

Providing for and Protecting you is his God-given responsibility which gives him self-confidence and strokes his ego.

Lastly, remember to say 'Thank you' if you want him to do more.
Forget Miss Independent. It is a hoax or should I say.. Issa scam!


#personaldevelopment #mentalhealth #growth #missindependent