As an African child I have been through alot; from how I was raised to my personal relationships and most importantly.. my entire lifestyle.
African parenting has positive and negative impacts but the negative outweigh the positive. As a lady from an African home, I have dealt with alot of issues. I was raised in an environment where everyone believes that socializing with a boy or man eventually means having an intimate relationship.
I don't like this notion because it has destroyed most of my relationships. To make it worse.. it's the reason I'm an introvert. In addition, I can’t stand men even away from home; because I don’t want to create the perception of an intimate relationship where there is none. My African upbringing has literally messed me up.
I also live in a society where men are raised to believe that every girl should bleed when they lose their virginity? Who even taught these boys about sex???
We need to revisit our sex education because men are out here demeaning ladies sexually as a result of African parenting. We need to amplify sexual awareness but it's unfortunate that it's a topic that is swept under the carpet in African homes. Let's change our attitude and perception about sex. As we delve into sex education, let's remember to respect God and maintain that sex is for married couples only. That's what I believe.
I come from a place where girls who put on trousers, apply make up and confidently expose their God-given talents are perceived as ill-mannered.
Poor children... How I wish I could fight for you 😢. That's a topic for another day.
It is very unfortunate that they judge the wrong people. The evil ones might be dressed in long robes, staying natural and hiding behind the curtains. Our African society is very judgemental especially to the young generation.
Our society doesn’t know that at times they push young people to do the unspeakable for the sake of discovering our identity and independence. Our African homes believe that a girl getting pregnant before marriage is an abomination, a disgrace while nobody talks about the boy who impregnated the girl. Only the girl carries the shame because she carries the evidence too. We might have lost our way somewhere as girls but that doesn’t mean that you should be harsh and mean to us. All we need is guidance.
My society has taught me that an African woman has no voice but I love how empowered women are defying this notion. They are ready to fight for their rights and are going to any length to secure their place in the society. I'm actually glad to see women upgrading and showing men that anything is possible because what a man can do.. a woman can do better. Let's say.. even much better.
Who will save the African children?
Our parenting methods and upbringing need to change. Our children should grow as all rounded citizens not closeted humans.
Let's talk more on my next blog and in the lyrics of Sauti Sol and Soweto Gospel Choir: "I believe that brighter days are going to come."
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